Saturday, March 7, 2015

What you shouldn't say to single and saved women and why!

Untitled #498

I have had a lot of conversations with older females that left me either feeling down or just angry! The topic is the lack of a diamond ring on my left hand. I know that this type of post has probably been done to death but I never really seen a lot on the perspective of a woman that is saved (has a relationship with God). My experience has a single 20 something maybe similar to some women. But since of my relationship with God some of the struggles I face they may not have to. But what we do share is dealing with people that may mean well but often put their foot in the mouth about our relationship status.

The most recent comment is when a well-meaning person asked me about my age.  She followed with that it is time for you to get married. This statement has been nagging at me I feel that because I am 27 years old does not mean that I will get married at that age. Whatever time God has for me is my time!  So I am not going to let my age send me into a panic because I  do not have a husband. I am going to put my faith in God and if it is meant to be it will happen but on His time and not mine!
Another commit I heard was when I turned 26. My co workers asked me how old I was because it was Bday! They then followed up  the "you need to get married have some babies before you are thirty." I told them that I could always adopt if for some reason I could not have children! That shut them up real quick! 

I feel that people with the help of medical advice so readily available through the media everyone thinks they know when women can have children! This is completely messed up because there are younger women who have problems conceiving. So age can be a factor in conceiving but it does has prevent women over 30 from conceiving healthy babies.

One time so told me but you're so cute you should be able to get someone! Comments like these make a person that they can just land a person on looks alone but fail to build on their character or behavior. I also think it makes women feel like they have to compete with other woman in the game of who's prettier! I do not want to compete because I know someone eventually has to be the loser!
Others get really absurd and tell me that I should lower my standards about sex to get a man! That is really insane to tell someone to do something contrary to their beliefs. Having sex before marriage can lead to some serious consequences. I am not willing to let down my standards for temporary pleasure that may not even lead to marriage and ruin what I do have.   

I believe that this kind of pressure to get married before 30 pushes women to say yes to ring and dress to someone that is not even right for them. I do not want to feel pressure to rush into something that is wrong for me. I do not need that kind of pressure in my life.

But sometimes after I hear these comments I feel that because of the lack of a hubby or kids make me less of person. I have accomplished so much in life but when I hear these comments I feel like a failure. Those married women who make those comments may think it is encouraging but it is not. I know my lack of marital status and age and do not need to remind of it. 

What I need to know is that God loves me and that He will provide for me.  That He will continue to help me and I will finally have one career instead of three part time jobs. I also need to know that God will keep and help me to remain pure in this sex crazed generation. I need to hear how God has abundantly blessed me so far in my single life and will continue to bless me whether I am married or not! Those are the things that single and saved women need to hear.

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Lanae Bond 


  1. Amen! I totally agree with you on this. Why do people try to make us feel bad a about bot being married with a baby on the way at a certain age? I'll be 27 in August, but I'm not going to rush into anything just because people think I should. When the time is right, great, at the end of the day, I'll do what makes me happy and what is right for me x

    1. Don't rush into anything despite what people may say. If you are content with your status in life than it should not be anybody elses business.

  2. I am so thankful the women in my life haven't started approaching me with those sort of comments... Lowering standards is the *last* thing we need to do. When we live our convictions, we are honoring God - and that's the most important thing we should be doing. Rushing into marriage won't do us any favors either - it's gotta be about honoring God in all areas of our lives.

    1. Be thankful that no one has started make these type of comments because it overwhelming at times. But like she said regards of what others might say we should never lower our standards but stand firm on our convictions. Because it is important to that we do the will of God and wait for what He has for us.

  3. Yikes, I can't believe someone said that to you! Being single is great and being married is great. They are both just... different! No need to be forcing one or the other on people (:
    Visiting from and would love a visit back!

    1. Yep it is hard to imagine that people can be that callous but they can. I agree with what you stated that being single and being are married are gifts that people should enjoy!


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