When I first got saved at 14 years old (Confessed and dedicated my life serving God), I really did not understand what all salvation was about. I believe that is why I was still in bondage and trying to earn my salvation instead of receive it. I tried so desperately to be good and do everything right. If I did one thing wrong I would just lose it. If I did not make an A, I would feel like a failure. I could never seem to give myself a chance to be human. I was desperate to be perfect no matter what and to keep the traditions of men more than God.
Every time I did something wrong I felt I had lost my salvation, it may have been something even small like eating a cookie with out getting permission from my parents. I felt condemnation about every little thing that it cause me deep anguish and anxiety. I especially felt that way when I would here people talking negatively about the youth in our church. People would say none of the kids were saved even though there were at least four that were saved. These blanketed statements not only effected me but made the other saved youth feel like they were still sinners. In the end only two are still saved at the church. Words do effect people especially babes in Christ. I was blessed to have a mother that encouraged me and taught me my first lessons in grace.
I had only heard the mention of grace in songs or maybe being thrown around but I really did not understand it. It was not until I was an adult that I realized what God's grace really was and what it meant to my salvation. I am still being renewed in the fact that when I accepted salvation into my life it was a gift not something I earned or deserved. It was graced to me and all I had to do is accepted it. I couldn't pay God back for letting His one and only son die on the cross for me, that was impossible. But I could accept what is death meant for me. It meant that I did not have to live in condemnation for my past sins, mistakes, or even current ones. I had to repent of these actions and accept that I was forgiven. I still struggle with guilt over my sins but God came that I might me free. That do not have have to bond by sins and by condemnation and neither do you. I also did not have to feel guilty about keeping tradition that had nothing to do with true salvation.
Gal 5:1 NIV—It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let… https://t.co/nOe2hANUW1 via @biblegateway— Lanae Bond (@LanaeBond) June 13, 2016
When we approach God with our petitions we should come humble before Him but not lacking confidence. We can approach Him with boldness no longer feeling like we can come to Him because we feel unworthy. We are now worthy because of Jesus Christ to approach God in prayer. In order to truly experience a relationship with God we have to come to Him in prayer. That is the only way we can grow and experience His grace.
Eph 3:12 NIV—In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. https://t.co/jCZTukYc9H via @biblegateway— Lanae Bond (@LanaeBond) June 13, 2016
I also discovered that my freedom that did not allow me to stay in sin but enabled me to be free to serve God and help others. Galatians 5:13
One scripture that I try to mediate often is Matthew 11:30 to realize that grace enabled us to live holy and take the burden away from it. This allows us to experience freedom and this freedom is more sweeter than any other.